Today at Mass, something wonderful happened. I felt like I was going to begin crying at any moment, numerous times. For whatever reason, today I felt God’s love on me, in me, and stronger than I think I’ve ever felt before. Walking up to receive the Eucharist, I was shaking, my heart felt as if it was going to beat out of my chest, and I felt like I was going to begin crying. It felt so wonderful, so amazing, and unlike anything I’ve ever felt. I couldn’t believe it!

Attempting to explain what happened to me today is hard, as all my words don’t seem to even compare or do any kind of justice. After I received Him, I prayed for all my loved ones to know this feeling, for it to stay, lingering, as long as possible, and for everyone really to be close enough to God to feel this way, or better.

I used to have a strange fear of Heaven, after I converted. I became Catholic after a prolonged absence of God in my life, where I was the textbook definition of atheist. Not like those who say they are atheist, but then profess how angry they are at God for whatever reason (how can you be angry at something you don’t believe in?), but I just truly did not believe in God, whatsoever. After I converted, I thought Heaven was a terrifying idea, like Utopia. Utopia is impossible here on Earth, and I just couldn’t grasp that Heaven would be any different - that in order to have Heaven, God somehow took away our freewill once we got there.

I now know differently, of course, but today I just imagined this was a small taste of what Heaven was like, and I almost laughed right out loud at how foolish I had been to be afraid of it before! God does not remove our freewill, He loves us eternally for who we are, regardless. For this, I am so amazingly grateful.

I am such a slacker! Last day of the month, and I still don’t even have time to write, but I’m going to make it for this! Fallible Blogma is having October as ‘Support A Catholic Speaker Month’, and I’m very honored to be able to participate. My chosen speaker is Dr. Tim Gray, a popular author and a modern day scripture scholar.

Dr. Gray holds a ThM in scripture from Duke, as well as from The Franciscan University of Steubenville, and he also holds a PhD in Biblical Studies from the Catholic University of America. He is the director of the Denver Catholic Bible School, a professor of scripture at St John Vianney Seminary, as well as at St Augustine Institute. He is an author of five best selling Catholic books, he has four EWTN series, and he is also co-developer of the Bible Timeline series. Gray and his wife Kris live in Denver, Colorado with their son Joseph.

One of Dr. Gray’s books, Boys to Men: The Transforming Power of Virtue discusses the ways in which men (and really, everyone, women included) can live a virtuous life. Reviewers state that it’s a practical and down-to-earth look at virtues, and Dr. Tim Gray uses scripture, self-experience, and the Catechism of the Catholic Church to show how important developing virtues is to having a happy and successful life. His other books are The Luminous Mysteries: Biblical Reflections on the Life of Christ, Sacraments in Scripture, Mission of the Messiah: On the Gospel of Luke, and Catholic for a Reason I, II, & III. You can find links to buy any of these, and more, via The Catholic Company.